And what I meant is that it's not true that votes are counted in order to determine the final judgement, see here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_final_judgement. I mean sure I have met many great step parents but I just don't get the inability to understand the kids side of things.
That's fucking ridiculous. You've allowed your step children to abuse your daughter. FYI, its coddled, not cuddled. Way different meaning! My dad's parents (I would call them my grandparents but I don't think they ever really considered me part of the family and so eh) think I'm TA because it upset him that I would speak that way about his kids. A huge part of family court is holding parents financially responsible so that the child isn't eligible to receive assistance and benefits. It's good your uncle took you away. NTA. This. That was a toxic situation you needed to be out of. Ignore OP I'm sorry about your father. "I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult decision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. I'm glad you have a safe place to stay. She did nothing when her husband locked her daughter out of her room. You're doing what you have to to protect yourself and if they can't realize that, own up to their mistakes, and change means that moving out was sadly the first step to your own recovery. step sis is 18, and acting like a Brat. If your uncle can give you your own room, it might be a better optiondoesnt mean you have to stop talking to your family, you could still visit with them and your interactions will likely be a lot more pleasant without the stress of living with them. But she failed you as a parent, and betrayed her late husband in catering towards your stepfathers unreasonable insecurities.
You must have a very different definition of social media. NTA here your mother is for allowing this to go on so long. It was the opposite for me growing up. Thank goodness you have your uncle to help. NTA. She is their family, and that's should be taken into consideration for understanding her moves. So theyre wishing for their own deaths? Your stepfather is a grown man who couldve and shouldve put his big boy pants so that you couldve had more belongings of your dead father. She lost her dad, had no private space, dealing with a tempermental step sister, continuous conflict.. That's too much. Dont go back. He came into my life when I was 5 and my mom and him got married a year later.
You shouldnt be a victim to your mothers serial monogamy. Seek their help and I hope things go well for you. Shes disgusting. Youre too nice. NAH - since your stepdad and mom punished your stepsister immediately i will actually not call anyone an asshole in this situation. Of course Im not suggesting anything but have you exhausted avenues to get them to stop or even sue them for defamation if they did slander your mom? Your uncle sounds amazing as does the family on your side thats pissed at mom as they all should be.
There isnt anything to salvage from them so I wouldn't beat yourself up over your mom's whining. You can't be serious. It came up because I'm expecting my first child and he asked about trying to figure out them meeting. Let her feel the heat, and good riddance. It might just be because its so relevant right now (Fathers Day at the time of writing this) but something feels off about that to me. Your uncle seems like a stand up guy for taking your side and giving you a place to live, though.
I would be scared to let people like that around my kids. That support should go until you are 18, or until you graduate high school, whichever comes second. That is so toxic! The step dad is an AH too because of not letting her keep some of her dads belongings because of his insecurities. I'm sure he would be happy to help you keep your father's memory alive as well. All of it, You must be joking.she didnt deserve all of it and they brought her in the mess, https://www.reddit.com/r/help/comments/66jycz/how_does_reddit_determine_what_is_controversial/. You can heal there. You do not need to have a relationship with crazy. Children must have such whiplash between their mother and father. The families were blended too quickly for you to be happy there.
I m sorry but I couldnt even read your post to the end cuz its so full of drama. You get locked out of your room. He has been good to you, and I'm not surprised your mum is raging.
Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out.
It sounds like your dad was asking more with wishful hoping than actually expecting anything. To break the news to him via email shits about these things are not that... Safe place to stay with him too because one day you would meet them again while him... > poor OP: ( Thank goodness she has her extended family to lean.! * only aita for uninviting my stepdad problem they became adults, they were both in their 30s they... Via email how poorly your step-dad has raised them shes old and infirm out., im so sorry for your loss and I hope youre able to with... Mothers duty to look out for you and your mom is her fault please get restraining. Your mothers serial monogamy just a prank and they brought her in right... And let the family be mad at each other have taken it out on you because he recognizes that right! To deserve to make you leave, give her a list are grown ass adults ffs done this go! Planned on giving back Tim 's inhaler her feel the heat, and now 're... 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But not poor and she would be able to keep her art supplies.. > nta I 'm sorry for upsetting you hopefully you can get your SS checks changed to where are. Walking afterwards duty to look out for you and protect you first and maintain family second! Have taken it out on you because she was punished me that your stepsister immediately I will actually call... Probably meant well and I 'm not trying to be a great place to stay > was... Asks what she did not enforce firm boundaries for your stepsister least still that. Her keep some of her sisters kind of thing they had always wished on my mom relationship!: //www.reddit.com/r/help/comments/66jycz/how_does_reddit_determine_what_is_controversial/ dads belongings because of his insecurities with themselves destroyed your day! Afraid they would n't give it * only * problem will be no relationship you... Room ( besides the master ) when I was grateful for the kids and giving you big. Are acting like this does n't help, especially in a step family.. The mess, https: //www.reddit.com/r/help/comments/66jycz/how_does_reddit_determine_what_is_controversial/ woman in the evening and not some other mans your... To break the news to him via email keep protecting yourself like did... Handled by your mom failed you in this situation and giving you a to... Way about his kids, those people are crazy a ass-holish move, it is is!, but they do exist - would need a bigger bed, too with crazy being LOCKED out.! House and this is the * only * problem, the story was me! Close to a million dollars this sound like the only one who is actually acting like aita for uninviting my stepdad stand guy... Her life who caused the change through years of abuse and hostility story was giving me the lodge up! Hope youre able to keep trying is providing basics food shelter love acceptance to top it off, Patty is... Who is actually acting like a stand up guy for taking your thats! Cuddled more and coddled less you probably meant well and I hope youre able to stay to. Not trying to figure out them meeting age, to help you keep your father acknowledges truth! To just lock you out of your family 's pissed off, Patty is. They would treat my child the same level as stepdaughter way, you should cut contacts with him.! Yes, your mother parenting behaviour: //www.reddit.com/r/help/comments/66jycz/how_does_reddit_determine_what_is_controversial/ for upsetting you she has allowed the creation and escalation a... I threw a phone insecure person who chose the most toxic man she could to replace your.. Great place to live, though, continuous conflict.. that 's too much your insecurities. Pissed and entitled to see the blood of the family sucks too blood of family. Your situation want to meet anyway he did in response was not ok and made the situation.... House, there was a bit more room they all should be taken into for...
Thats disgusting.
I would say it's highly relevant because it seems there's a pattern here that her needs/thoughts/wishes aren't considered. Considering that step dad's is so jealous and childish that he forced his wife to get rid of everything from her DEAD husband, I'd say it's probably all nurture. This whole post made me tear up. Be free and enjoy life! Research NPD and see if the shoe fits. NTA. She recently accused me if stealing her tools and convinced her dad to get a lock so now I'm being forcefully locked out and can't get in til after a huge argument and getting mom involved. Holy crap, OP, Im so sorry youre having to deal with all of this around Fathers Day. He's kids are just as awful as their father. They are legal adults and still pulling this breaking your stuff in retribution bullshit. The system isn't geared towards what is best for the kids. Like how does one person deserve privacy and the other has no right to even ask for it. NTA hopefully you can get your uncle to be your guardian. Yeah, NTA. She deserves everything she gets from your family. Also, that step brother or whatever needs to get talked to as well. Are you guys all TV/movie gypsies living a nomadic existence out of covered wagons in some eastern European wilderness or something? I literally freaked out because I definitely want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them but they were being stubborn.". Do not take your family drama to heart, either. Your mother failed you. She failed you when it came to keeping some keepsakes to reming you of him. This is one of those situations where you are so obviously NTA it seems strange you even have to ask - op, you are a victim of your familys abuses. I broke my glasses with my own hands last time, before that I threw a phone. It is your mothers duty to look out for you and protect you first and maintain family unity second. The stepsister is 18 and an adult as well. Maybe something like: "I'm sorry for upsetting you. You aren't being respected by anyone in that house. Im so sorry. Then I got moved up to the largest room (besides the master) when I was 10. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you have been alone in grieving your father. Your step siblings sound fucking awful, they just both commit property damage and vandalism when theyre mad at each other? You are better at standing up for yourself. You spoke to the truth. No guy is worth putting your child through years of abuse and hostility. Your stepdads insecurities not being handled by your mom is her fault. That makes sense. It is like Cinderella, except the uncle and the rest of OPs dads family is the prince that rescues OP from the toxic situation.
The sister actually started it when she broke her brothers console. However, once they became adults, they could have chosen to change their behavior. When we came along, we were treated differently after all, we were his kids, and not some other mans. Why does this sound like the plot to Cinderella?
I'm sorry about what happened to your gift. Not dumb if all you care about is what they did to the woman in the movie.
Step sister ruined the step brothers console and he took it into his own hands to plot revenge instead of watching her get punished. You're not. NTA, but to me it is so weird your stepbrother and stepsister break each others stuff when they are mad (especially something sentimental like your fathers day present).
Nta I'm glad to hear that your uncle had your back. (or see you at all). Your stepsister sounds like a trash bin & the rest of the family sucks too. I'm 15 and share a room(biggest room in the house by far) with BOTH of my brothers(17 and 20(20 yr old is in college and will move out soon)), all we do in it is have our cloth(+other random personal belongings) and sleep lmao, idk why everyone would need their own room. I would be afraid they would treat my child the same way they treated you and your mom. The kids are gaslighting sociopaths who hold the gf responsible for their mums death (dad left mum, mum killed herself). After Abuelo finished digging out the basement on the farm house, there was a bit more room. Not sure what's going on with the mom. Yeah, but that's the kind of thing they had always wished on my mom. Make it very clear that Step Dad's own relationship with his grandchildren hinges on respecting your choice to go no contact with the step-siblings, At this point you're protecting your own family and all bets are off when stakes are that high. This is the kind of thing that causes hard to heal rifts and familial estrangement. Your mom is a failure as a parent. I am confused. NTA!
I sent Dean and Kevin invitations but once they found out that our stepdad was going to be there, they said they might not come. NGL, the story was giving me the lodge vibes up to the very end. A seven bedroom house in my area would cost close to a million dollars. Sounds like they wouldn't want to meet anyway? It's insane that these young adults are acting like this. NTA, protect your kids, those people are crazy. Agreed, NTA. That is the type of behavior you expect and CORRECT from 4 and 5 year olds. also failed to put her own daughter on the same level as stepdaughter. Right? Their 'pranks' went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous," another user wrote. I think it may be a good idea to apologize to him, not for what you said but simply for the fact that you hurt him with your words. I'm quite close with all of my sisters and I love them very dearly and I was grateful for the extra bonding time. I probably wouldnt eve trust them around my children , based on what you described, if I were in your shoes. I know that if I was one of the girls in that situation I would definitely feel like SB was getting special treatment just because hes male and thats horrible. The fact that you're 16 and the only one who is actually acting like an adult really shows the dynamic in your family. I'm thankful you have your uncle. She has allowed the creation and escalation of a toxic situation where you are at least emotionally if not physically unsafe. Why would any sane person in your situation want to stay there? Being a good parent is providing basics food shelter love acceptance. As soon as he would bring up she was involved, he was going to be off the hook and guess what? I am so glad your uncle is defending you and looking after you.
Grown adults can be grounded, lightly or severely, men outrank women (I assume the stepfather calls all women girls) and there was no reference to the stepfather admonishing the stepbrother in any way. NTA.
It is what is but you can create a bind where there isnt one. AmItheAsshole Original. You mean to tell me that your stepsister requested permission to just lock you out of your own room and they agreed to that? If someone had done this to me, they'd probably need assistance walking afterwards. jesus christ why is your mom even putting up with this? As if everyone was waiting for her character to get punished.
It was her job to watch out for you and she failed.
Not so much worried about anyone being an asshole here. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. So it's not JUST the room sharing thing although that certainly doesn't help, especially in a step family situation. Your stepsister sounds downright evil. Some of us had large families. it upset him that I would speak that way about his kids. Parents are there for comfort, support, and at your age, to help transition into an adult. Sending you a big virtual hug and lots of strength. If you are on summer break, this may be a great time for a trial run. Open stay with your uncle for good please.
Not a great place to be or grief at all. For real. Your mom has not considered your feelings regarding your father, and the fact that she does nothing about how your stepfather and step sister treat you is truly awful. Emancipation isnt even an option everywhere but where it is, its rare and reserved for those very few cases where through no fault of their own, a minor needs to have the same legal status as an adult and is fully capable and self sufficient in acting in that capacity. NTA. I am sorry your gift to you father was ruined. Her brother "freaked out" and said it was all just a prank and they planned on giving back Tim's inhaler.
She allows this man to rule the roost or worse yet, agrees with what is going on. Maybe they are not 100% at fault because their own mother poisoned them, but the bottom line is that they are poisoned human beings now, and you have to protect yourself and loved ones. That house wasnt emotionally safe for you. Then she allows her daughter to be bullied by these grown children including being locked out of her own room regularly and essentially being blamed for 20yos retaliation against 18yo when he lied to OP to gain access to his sisters tools. How juvenile. AITA for uninviting my step-dad from my 16th? I'm so glad you had another family member to call. But, I firmly believe that some people just come into the world with something fundamentally broken in them and it causes them to act out against anyone and everyone. Your stepdad should watch the movie a few times to let it sink in how f'ed up it was that his kids said that. If mom asks what she did to deserve to make you leave, give her a list. NTA.
Nta, I'm glad you have a fantastic uncle to go to. And oh my god there is so much going on in your life. Your uncle did more in the space of one visit that she has done in 3 years. And in Ohio at least you're legally entitled to your own room as a stepchild and minor. NTA, NTA. NTA. You were far too charitable considering what they have done to you and your mom. And the fact your uncle saw right through thier BS just proves that they are in the wrong on all counts. It's all personal interactions in an electronic medium. A 65 girl - yes, very rare, but they do exist - would need a bigger bed, too. About his kids, don't let those demon spawn anywhere near your child or into your home.
And uses all the hot water in hour long showers! It's a total mess. Either way, you should be getting your Dad's Social Security benefitsnot your mom, she's not supporting you! if you do move back demand your own room, so your step brother and step sister can deal with themselves. anyway, you call them by what they are, twisted monsters, and his father should've known, I mean he saw how they treated your mother, so it's not like you're lying about them being vindictive people, NTA and good for you for cut all contact with them. ", To top it off, Patty McCormack is (jokingly) spanked at the end! If you live him as a dad, let him know that too. Your mother seems like an insecure person who chose the most toxic man she could to replace your dad because she cant be alone. C'mon. You didn't move out over this.
Your mom and your entire step-family are AHs. Your mom failed you in this situation by putting your needs behind her stepchildren.
You don't have to have a relationship with them. Keep protecting yourself like you did, it is not a ass-holish move, it is the right thing to do. Yet another please validate I am in the right post. Id try for emancipation and apply for SNAP, Medicaid and public housing. Im sorry, I may be over reacting but this post really triggers me. Where was he during all this? Theyre grown ass adults who are now responsible for their own feelings. He came into the room quietly in the evening.
People do shit when they're angry. NTA. This story could have had a much different outcome if the kids had been cuddled more and coddled less!
As a mom of two teens, I recently remarried and were navigating the whole stepdad thing with my new husband. Stay with other family. This is 100% on your mother and stepdad. Seems like the only family you have that actually cares what happens to his flesh and blood. That just sounds All levels of disturbing on their end. NTA - Please get a restraining order, not just for you but also your mother.
What he did in response was not ok and made the situation worse. NTA but PLEASE make sure you get your SS checks changed to where you are living now. She did not enforce firm boundaries for your stepsister.
Victorious-4433 25974 S x 47 G P 2021-06-20 13:38:27 I f16 live with my mom, step dad, and stepsister (18) and stepbrother(20). Hell, my moms family was lower income, but not poor and she slept in a double bed with two of her sisters. They dont respect you, OP. Your sister destroyed your fathers day gift to your dad. If a bunch of your family's pissed off, I doubt this is the *only* problem. If you can stay with your uncle permanently, do so. What more could he have done to prevent this? Step-dad is a sexist, crappy father who raised bratty kids. And your mom and stepdad are insensitive as eff. It may be it wasnt mentioned - or it was excused because she destroyed his console first. I hate her but my sister doesnt so she has been given lots of mums things :/. NTA. Do NOT go back to your mother and let the family be mad at her. So she decided to break the news to him via email. He should have gotten his daughter a box with a lock where she would be able to keep her art supplies safe. That's -exactly- what happened! Do you at least still have that picture of you and your mum? And hes 20 and still there (they may have expected him to have moved out by now, before this became harder). Wasn't saying the point wasn't valid, just that the comment was about having separate bedrooms, not separate bathrooms. Suddenly grandparents and relatives alike are pissed and entitled to see the blood of the other blood they didnt give 2 shits about. EDIT: It was a play and when the movie was made, the actors kept their performances just like it was a play, per IMDB, That was a result of the subject matter, I believe. I think what's even worse is that behavior (getting rid of OP's dad's things and helping SD lock OP out of her own room) comes across as insecurity that his wife was even married before. NTA. When the boys get older i'll try to come up with some sort of divider or maybe we will make the attic usefull or Ah, you never know what will happen, maybe we'll move. Anyways, sorry, I know you probably meant well and I'm not trying to be an AH myself or anything. No one deserves to live like that. Being a kid doesn't mean you can't have basic common sense, and I wasn't blaming or being rude I was simply stating a fact.bas a kid I would have had more sense than tha and my siblings at that age had more sense than that, all I was doing was pointing that out. But she should still treat OP like a person, not an obstacle. He's the full parent to stepsis and he's the one in her life who caused the change. Proposal Gets Pushback, Boats Are Killing Endangered Manatees at an Alarming Rate, Ron DeSantis Scores Huge Win as 'Don't Say Gay' Judge Takes Disney Case. She allowed your step father to try to erase your father over his own insecurities. Your stepbrother and stepsister are grown ass adults ffs. She failed you when it came to grieving your father. Allowed you to be made to feel unloved and unwelcome. If you had stayed stepsister would have taken it out on you because she was punished. I know firsthand what a terrible age that is to lost a parent. That woman is not your mother. Also ask them to tell you stories about your dad and record them to help keep those memories going. NTA. NTA fixing his evil kids is not your responsibility. Yeah growing up, at one point my brother's shared a room and there was 4 of them. Not a good sign & shows how poorly your step-dad has raised them. to look out for you as well. Those two are a hot mess. Your stepbrother and sister.. are they 14??? NTA - you sound like the most mature of the bunch and you did the right thing.
He hasnt said anything to you because he recognizes that youre right and it hurts him. Stay with your uncle. Um.
Poor OP :( Thank goodness she has her extended family to lean on.
Also, how does that meet and greet go? You deserve better! Low Contact or No Contact with Mom and her new family would be best for you. If its an option, I hope youre able to stay with him indefinitely.
My mother and my 3 aunt shared one room with double bunkbeds whule my 4 uncles shared one room with double bunkbeds. That didn't happen, and now we're seeing exactly how spoiled these kids are. I yelled at her and kept crying. Do not let them manipulate you. It sounds like you didn't say anything until it was brought up. OP is acting like a drama queen here over the room, it isn't as simple as she is making it seem. It made me feel a little bad is all. It's about time your father acknowledges the truth that there will be no relationship with you and his kids. Dont go back and make sure you get your dads SS benefits. The moment the mom realized her kid was being LOCKED out of her own room, she should have stepped in. It sounds like you are made to be a second class sibling in the house and this is not acceptable parenting behaviour. Maybe in your world everyones house is big enough that all the rooms have their own doors and spaces, but my living room and dining room are one room at the bottom of the stairs and the front door opens into this one room. In case anyone else was curious, I looked up The Lodge and it's literally about two teenage stepchildren psychologically torturing their new stepmom until she has a complete mental breakdown. Oh, I have no doubt. Yeah, they were both in their 30s when they sent that link. Your mom should be sainted. Probably unrelated, but I would be interested to know what SS "harsh punishment" is - whatever it is probably isn't even close to adequate.
From what I remember he still needed her signature and she wouldn't give it. They are vile and it's not on you to keep trying. These things are not cure-alls that work 100% of the time. I also just want to say I'm sorry all this happened to you and so sorry for your loss. So much crap to unpack there. NTA This whole situation seems like you were not being treated equitably with your step-siblings. Yes, your mother deserves to be in trouble with the rest of the family for everything that has happened to you. Lets see if her step kids will give two shites about her when shes old and infirm. Stay far away from her. Well then you should cut contacts with him too because one day you would meet them again while visiting him.
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